“How A Teacher Can Permanently Scar the Self-Confidence of Your Child in Less Than 30 Seconds”
Every day, loving parents place their precious children in the hands of the teachers and administration of public schools. But do you know what’s really going on? Do you know how one tiny instance can create a mental block that may last forever?
If your child dreads school...
If your child lacks self-confidence...
If you have a naturally quiet child...
If you are struggling on choosing between public, private, or homeschooling... Then this will be the most important article you will ever read.
Imagine this...
There was a little girl who lived in Sedgwick, Kansas. She had long flowing brown hair that had never been cut—just trimmed, so it was well past her waistline.
She was a timid, quiet, little girl. But she loved to read. In fact, she couldn’t get enough of it. That very summer she had entered a reading contest at her local, small-town library and won a goldfish.
Her mother put that goldfish on a ledge between the kitchen and the living room so that everyone could see it. And she was very proud.
“How Personal Sacrifice Was Endured to
Send A Child To Private School”
But, that Fall, there was a change. Even though her family was very poor, even though it was 1979 and their car was a 1968 Chevy, even though her clothes came from garage sales and hand-me-downs...Her parents loved her so much that they were going to sacrifice even further to take her and her little brother out of public school and pay for private education.
It meant a long drive. It meant the mother never bought anything new for herself. It meant the biggest treat of the week was sitting at the kitchen table and eating a loaf of peanut butter and jelly toast. It meant their only heat was from a woodstove. It meant she slept with heated bricks to stay warm on bitter winter nights. But still, she was happy and blossoming because she was loved.
So, with timid heart and sick stomach, she went to her first day of private school.
To her surprise and delight, her main teacher was a kind gentleman who offered encouragement and tried to break her out of her shell.
But she didn’t.
“Why Giving Your Best Is Never Good Enough in Public and Private Schools”
When they had swimming for gym, she got teased ‘cause she couldn’t swim and was afraid of the water.
When she memorized over 50 verses for the Bible memory verse competition, she was humiliated when she was eliminated in the third round 'cause she had unknowingly memorized a non King James version.
When she gave her all during the K-6th grade mini-Olympic games, she was given third place ribbons out of sympathy. She wasn’t stupid. She knew she hadn't placed. It would have been better not to have gotten anything.
But despite all this, she probably would have come out of her shell and developed self confidence from the kindness of her teacher and the unconditional love and support of her parents.
“How 30 Seconds With One Teacher Can Erase Your Child’s Imagination And Distort Their Perception”
But....then there was art class.
The project was to paint a sky and windmill scene on a piece of wood. She knew instantly that she wanted to paint it with a sunset. She could see the windmill spinning, feel the gentle breeze, and smell the fresh air--the image was so real in her mind.
She had never painted before; and she was a little frustrated that her sunset came out a little dark. More like the moment before the light disappears and darkness envelopes all. No, it wasn’t perfect. But it was close enough and she was excited to give it to her mother.
But, the pride was short lived. The art teacher came over and practically yelled at her, “What have you done???”
“I was trying to paint a sunset...” she stammered, trying to slide down further in her seat, her pride slipping away like a leaf floating down the gutter grate into the depths of the sewer.
“You’ve ruined it!” The teacher exclaimed. The whole class was staring now. The gaze of each eye like a dagger stabbing her thin, small body, “It’s looks like you’ve got a STORM going on here.”
Then the teacher snatched the work out of her hands, took away her paintbrush, and suffocated the girl’s imagination with “cover up” paint in an attempt to fix it. Finally, the teacher slammed it down, turned her back to the little girl and said as she walked away, “I can’t do anything with that.”
Still, the little girl took the art home to her mother. The mother exuberated joy and pride and prominently displayed it. But the little girl just thought her mother was trying to make her feel better and didn’t really mean it. All the little girl saw was a violent storm.
“How One ‘Little’ Bad Experience Scarred
A Child For Over 12 Years”
You’re probably thinking, “yeah, right”. But it’s true!
How do I know? ‘Cause I was that little girl. And my Mom had no idea what had happened.
My mother kept that painted piece of wood. When we moved to Michigan, my Mom put that painted scene as a decoration in the downstairs bathroom. But, it was on the toilet lid; and in a closet bathroom—I knew that she put it there ‘cause she didn’t want anyone to see it but wanted me to feel better.
That painted piece of wood stayed there all through high school. I never used that bathroom—I couldn’t stand to see it and remember how I felt. That feeling that I wasn’t good enough--that never went away-- but that I tried to ignore.
Finally, one day, as I stood in the kitchen with my mother next to that bathroom door, I couldn’t take it anymore. I think I was 19.
“Mom,” I blurted, “Why do you still have that awful thing?”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, puzzled.
I opened the bathroom door and pointed at the evil evidence.
“Oh, that windmill scene?” she asked, totally surprised. “I’ve kept it all these years because I thought it was a beautiful sunset and I still love to look at it. I kept it in this bathroom cause I see it all the time.”
“How NO ONE Can Instill Feelings of Self-Worth Better Than a Parent”
I’m almost ashamed to admit there are tears streaming down my face right now. I’ll never forget how in that one moment, my mother erased all that had happened.
Suddenly, I could look at my sixth grade artwork in a new light. Yes, it was pretty good, wasn’t it? And when you look at it, you can imagine standing outside, feeling a gentle breeze slowly turning the windmill as you watch the fading moments of a glorious sunset.
It was only then that I told my Mom what had happened. It was because my Mom had released me from the bonds of that teacher’s disdain and shown me my own worth. Taught me that beauty was there even though I was told and believed it was ugly. Showed me how my perception had been distorted.
“Why Should Any Child Have To Wait 12 Years to Learn The Important Values of Life?”
And if you think that I’m just some sort of warped child who grossly over-reacted. Think again.
Think back in your own life and I’m sure you've experienced it too.
Why should any child have to feel that way...be influenced that way?
They don’t.
Imagine how different things would have been if I had been home with my Mom. How things would have been if I had done that project with her...
There was a little girl sitting at the table with her mother, anxiously awaiting an art project. The mother quietly laid out the supplies while the little girl could hardly contain herself.
The mother gives her the piece of wood and says, “You can take this paint and make any picture you want on it.”
The little girl holds the wood in her hand. She turns it different ways. She looks at the colors of paint sitting beside her. She thinks about what she loves and what she knows.
In her mind, she sees a field full of flowers...daisies. She beds and plucks one from the ground. It's beautiful.
She takes the flower out of her imagination and permanently plants it on that piece of wood. When she's totally satisfied with her work, she goes and hands it to her mother.
“Oh, Laura,” her mother exclaims. “This is absolutely beautiful.” And her mother takes it and places it in the bathroom.
The little girl is proud. She knows that every morning her mother will get ready and her art will be there. She knows that she is special. She knows that if she did such a great job on that...imagine what she could do if she tried again...or what if she studied art...
“Homeschool vs. Public and Private School”
We all know there is a great struggle among parents today: “Should I choose homeschooling or not?”
The decision is a difficult one.
The decision I made is to homeschool. I decided that there is nothing more important in my life than my children, than protecting them, than nurturing them, than loving them.
But I can’t make that decision for you.
First, take a moment. Think about my one experience. Think about the 100 other stories I could tell you that created things I've had to “unlearn”.
Next, think about your children. What do you want for them? What’s going on in their schooling right now? What memories do you want them to have? How do you want their minds to work?
Then, at the very least, I would take time to explore the information here and see the wonderful possibilities of the option of homeschooling that is the fastest growing educational choice today.
Sincerely,
Laura Bankston
Wife, Mother of three, Homeschooler,
and Business Owner who works from home
and still manages to focus on the family!
P.S. Don’t let one grouchy, uncaring teacher permanently scar the psyche of your child in 30 seconds or less. Explore the resources on this website to decide if homeschooling is the right choice for you.
P.P.S. My mother still has that piece of wood. She keeps it in a trunk full of special things from my childhood. What greater demonstration of love and self-worth could a mother bestow?
